From the makers of
Tri-Cornered Tent Show
comes...
SMOOTH MOVE - the handbook on RECLAMATION OF PERSONAL CONTINENCE!
EDT2002

Inside, you will find a complete set of step by step life changing instructions on WHAT TO DO AND HOW TO SHIT! You will also DISCOVER who the Founding Researcher really is, and the exact reason why YOU NEED TO PAY FOR HIS COOT RANTINGS!
You will find out at last, exactly what it means to GET BEVELED and come out the other side, clean and shiny as a new teapot! Learn what TAKING A BATH IN YOUR OWN ULTIMATE CORRECTNESS has done for thousands of saps JUST LIKE YOU!!

The Founding Researcher

Find out how to tap into a previously unknown, technically UNTHINKABLE, personal source of virtually UNLIMITED CASH RIGHT OUT OF YOUR OWN BODY!

Get a firm grip on that UNTAMED WEASEL NOW and put an end to his DESTRUCTIVE SPIRALING EFFECT!! All this and much much more. You cannot afford to wait any longer!

Every second that slips by, the escaped weasel continues to spin an ever greater and more insidious web of chocolate brown confusion and insanity!!

!!YOUR ETERNITY IS NOW HANGING IN THE WINGS!!

And, just so you know, out there in the adjacent Universe / galaaxie, there IS someone who is extremely powerful and treacherous.. and he's got a down payment on your future, NOT NECESSARILY IN YOUR FAVOR!!
But hey; This is America and life goes on! You are still coping JUST LIKE THEY TOLD YOU TO!!